[un]necessarily angry.com

Archives for: October 2007

October 2nd, 2007

Douchebag of the Weak

It's story time!!! Let's begin:

You are one of the people who bought an iPhone when they were first released. You love your new gadget and show it off to all of your friends, gloating in their stupid, non-iPhone-owning faces about how much cooler your phone is than their phone. You parade around New York using your iPhone at every opportunity in hopes of getting noticed.

Then, your world changes, it darkens. Two months after its release, Apple drops the iPhone prices $200 dollars for the 8 gig model, and removes the 4 gig model from shelves. "That's fucked," you scream! How dare they lower the prices so soon. Now every Tom, Dick, and Harriet can get an iPhone and they'll pay less than I did.

But Apple feels sorry for you, and so they offer to make amends. If you purchased your iPhone within 14 days of the price change, you get credited the difference, if not, you get a $100 Apple store credit. You are still dismayed. Even though Apple has given you money for no reason, that is not enough for you.

So you decide to sue Apple for $1 million dollars, which is a totally reasonable number considering how they have harmed you...



And let's pause there, shall we? Let's just take a quick re-read of the above and try to figure out where things went south... Dongmei Li, of Queens, New York, filed a $1 million dollar lawsuit against Apple because they lowered the price on something she had bought at a higher price? Dongmei Li, congratulations - you are a fucking douchebag, and my featured Douchebag of the Weak. You're not just a douchebag, though, you're also a jackass and several other fairly close synonyms. What the fuck is wrong with you? You paid the price that Apple set for their product and had no complaints when it was released. If they lower their prices, that fucking sucks for you. You paid to be one of the first to have an iPhone; and now you'll get to pay out the ass for a lawyer on a losing lawsuit. And Apple even already gave you $100 dollars of its money for no reason whatsoever. But that's not enough for you? I hope Apple crushes you, you fucking parasite.

04.15.59.pm, by unnecessarily angry
Categories: General, Mini-rant, Douchebag of the Weak

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