Categories: People, Apparel / Fashion, Celebrities, Customer Service, Pedestrians, School Administrators and Teachers, Straphangers
March 25th, 2008
I obviously don't post here much anymore, so I was quite surprised while weeding through my hundreds of attempted spam comments to see a few genuine comments. And what wonderful comments they are... Let's read on!
My post about 59 Fifty stickers has been very popular.
Reader Dru writes: your a jackass.
Well, go fuck yourself Dru. YOU'RE a jackass. And your name is spelled Drew.
Reader Dave writes: lol. i leave the sticker on just because it pisses people like you off. Why should you care whats on a complete strangers head?
"lol"? What the fuck Dave, are you a 15 year old girl? And why should I care? Because i'm [un]necessarily angry, fuckface, that's why. Because I have to get on the subway and see these baseball hats that are being misused. Did you know that the idea behind the hat is to keep the sun out of your eyes? You probably didn't, you fucking worthless fuck. Ok, actually, you don't deserve that - Dru is way more worthless than you are.
Reader New Era writes: Your a fucking idiot. The reason the tags are left on, is so the hat can be proven authentic. With there being many cheap knock offs out there, your sticker is your way of proving authenticity. The new era hats can be QUITE expensive, so you would want people to know. Its like asking people why they want Louis Vuitton written all over there belts!
Again with the "your". General comment: DON'T READ MY FUCKING SITE IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "YOU ARE" and "YOUR". Thanks. And, "New Era", guess what, Louis Vuitton shit with the logo all over it is fucking stupid looking too. But that's not what my post was about. It's a fucking BASEBALL hat. Trying to show the world that you're money by leaving a sticker on your hat is just fucking stupid. I can think of many, many better ways to spend my cash than to try to get someone (anyone) impressed with me because my fucking hat is 59 Fifty instead of just hat.
Aj writes: Oh wow. 59 fifty's are to be styling !
Cool, thanks for stopping by Aj. The hats are fine. Some of them are nice. But the stickers...stupid.
Finally, on my post about the lack of lunch options by where i work, I got this lovely comment from Rich: You need to move. I have about 20 restaurants within 2 blocks of my office and the only reason I have trouble with lunch is that they are all SO GOOD, I have a hard time making up my mind. Italian, French, Hawaiian, Chinese, Greek, Lebonese, Persian, Japanese, Mexican, seafood, deli, Vietnamese, Korean, what don't we have? Sometimes I decide to go farther, because there are about 20 more restaurants available within 4 blocks. Oh, I by the way, I don't drive, I don't take the train or bus, I WALK to work because I live a half a block from my office. It sucks to be you. Also, I never start a sentence with "I have to..." because I don't HAVE to do shit. I have choices. Oh, God, I love my life.
Hi Rich, you are a fucking douchebag. Please to be commencing with fucking yourself. Thanks. Seriously, who gloats like that? Congratulations Rich, you're my Douchebag of the Weak
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August 14th, 2007
The United States Department of Transportation has offered up $354 million dollars to New York City to implement Mayor Bloomberg's congestion traffic pricing scheme. As it so happens, I'm all for this stupid scheme. I don't really know why, exactly, but I think it will be a good thing. It will bring more money in to the city's coffers and it might potentially ease up some of the congestion around Manhattan. Additionally, as a wonderful bonus, it should increase car-pooling and therefore cause a decrease in pollution.
Oh, and it should cause an increase in Metro-North, LIRR, and subway ridership...
And here lies the problem with this, as I said above "stupid scheme." I am all for it, but they better put $345 million of that $354 in to improving the subways to handle the increased load. The 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 trains are already running at or over capacity at peak times, and this plan will only increase the load. And that's fucked. Going to work is already a nightmare, and now you're gonna lump in another bunch of jackasses who are pissed they can't drive anymore and who don't know their subway etiquette?
Like I said, I support Bloomberg and I think traffic reduction is needed. But not at the cost of increasing the load on the over-burdened public transportation system. Mayor Mike, I hope you've got a good solution for that.
August 8th, 2007
Barry Bonds just hit his 756th career home run. Goodbye Hammerin' Hank Aaron's record. Hello controversy. FUCK. THAT.
I am not here to talk about Barry Bonds in relation to asterisks, steroids, grand juries, Home Runs, or even baseball. I'm writing right now because watching what I saw was sickening.
Barry Bonds just hit the home run that he was waiting his entire career to hit. He stood at home plate with his fists in the air for a few seconds, and then began to round the bases. As he rounded third, his son, also wearing a #25 jersey stood at home plate waiting for him. Barry arrives at home plate.
And ignores his son.
His son goes to give him a hug, and Barry stands there, receives the hug from his son, and raises his arms in the air in his own personal triumph. This was not going to be shared with anyone, arriving at home plate. This was for Barry and Barry alone. His son hugs him, is proud of him, and Barry ignores him completely.
And I am fucking disgusted. Because that's totally fucked. That's completely fucked. That is 100% fucked.
You are the home run king (and I use the term loosely) second and a father first. I don't fucking care who you are, you don't ignore your son at that moment. You should be so proud that your son was able to be there, you should look him in the eye and give him a hug, and then if you wanna raise your fucking hands in the air to take in the atmosphere around you, to revel in the moment, go a-fucking-head. But you do it after you've hugged your son, not before.
And then, you make sure to hug your son, rather than going to start hugging your teammates, leaving your son behind. He will never tell you how much it would've meant to him, he may not even realize why he didn't think the moment was as great as it could've been, but that's why, right fucking there. Family first, Barry. What you did, on national television, a picture that will be circulated for years and decades to come, was totally fucked.
July 19th, 2007
Here's something that I don't get. Scholastic is printing 12 million copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter 7, to those of you who live under a rock). 12 million. They print them because they expect to sell them. Amazon has over 2 million pre-orders. Barnes and Noble another 1.3+ million pre-orders. So, literally, millions of people enjoy these books. What I don't understand is why other people, presumably people who don't read the books, work so hard at spoiling it for the millions of people who do read them. It's so supremely obnoxious, pathetic, and sad.
There are people who are going around the internets and posting spoilers to this Harry Potter book left and right in the hopes of ruining it for someone who reads the book. Are you serious? Take a step back and look at how fucking pathetic that is. You won't read a book for one of many reasons. Maybe you think it's a stupid kids book. Maybe you think of that many people like something, you have to be different and not like it. Maybe you're just a stupid fucking twatpancake. I dunno. I'm not a psychologist. But I do know this: These people who are trying to ruin other people's enjoyment, who adamantly refuse to read a book / series of books, are spending hours upon hours in their attempt to ruin other people's joy. And that's fucked.
But more than fucked, it makes me feel so incredibly sorry for these people. Do they have nothing better to do than go out and try to ruin things for kids and adults alike? These are the same people who would steal candy from a baby. They must be, because that is roughly equivalent. There is no good reason for it, except that they are so sad and miserable that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make sure that other people can't enjoy themselves.
I have no problem if people don't like or don't want to read Harry Potter. You are not required by law to read them and if you choose not to, that's your choice. But to actively spend your time trying to take away from other people's enjoyment of reading something is just so fucking ridiculous I don't even know what to say. And this time that they spend actively going to Harry Potter fansites and reading articles about Harry Potter at blogs and news sites so that they can post their spoilers is time wasted. In the time that these people are spending, they could've read the first two Harry Potter books and decided if they wanted to continue the series. I bet 80% of them would.
And, seriously, these people are finding Harry Potter fansites, literally searching them out, to post spoilers on them. Like, really? Seriously? No joke? This is actually happening? Someone has so little to do that they can search out something that they self-profess to hate? Come the fuck on, you're pulling my leg, right?
This "internet bullying" or whatever you wanna call it is just sad. And fucked. But remember, if you're ever feeling down and sad about your life, your life could be so much worse: You could be someone who spends hours trying to spoil Harry Potter for other people.
July 13th, 2007
I work in the Union Square area. I take the subway to Union Square every morning, and take it home from Union Square every evening. Union Square Park is a lovely place to eat lunch and I enjoy sitting there and relaxing.
Ah, lunch. Yes. That's what I'm going to be talking about today.
That's right. You have not misread. I hate it. I despise it. Lunch could not possibly make me more miserable. Every single day, I am forced to go to one of the same 7 or 8 places and get subpar food. It is very draining. I frequently converse with friends and ask them what I should get for lunch because I don't have the willpower or care to think about all the shitty food around here and choose one.
And, normally, I eat a late lunch. Around 3pm. And I understand that at 3pm, certain places don't offer their full menu. Some of the delis don't serve breakfast stuff. Some of them even turn off their grill. And that's fine. At 3pm, I don't have the expectation that I'll be getting my pick.
At 1:45, however, the time that I went out for lunch today, I expect all lunch options to be available. After painstakingly deciding on what I'd like to eat, I made my way to Food Works on 19th street. "Today," I thought, "I will have a Philly cheese steak for lunch. Delicious, greasy, cheesy goodness." And so I picked up my drink, and walked over to the sandwich counter to order my lunch. It was maybe 1:55 at the latest. "I'd like a Philly cheese steak with American cheese please."
"Oh, I'm sorry, the grill's closed."
"The grill is closed for the day."
"It's not even 2 o'clock yet, are you kidding?"
But he had already walked away.
When I go for lunch at or after 3, I don't expect the grill to be open and so I don't go to Food Works to get a Philly cheese steak. It's not even worth the trip. But at 1:45, I expect you to make my fucking sandwich. At 1:45 I expect you to slap a piece of generic beef-like product on the grill with some onions and peppers til the meat turns brown. Then I expect you to throw a couple slices of American cheese on top, let it melt just a tiny bit, and flip that whole fuckin brown, cheese covered mess on to a small hero roll.
For once I had actually picked what I wanted to eat. And you're denying me? Are you fucking serious? That's completely fucked. What kind of service industry can get away with telling someone "No, we won't make you what you asked for" at a normal time to ask for that thing.
So I put my drink back, and walked out. Disgusted. Now I had to think of a new place to go, and so I figured I'd just get a slice of pizza and end the search. Get to the pizza place, and it's the one day that they have burned the shit out of the plain pizza and are out of pepperoni. What are the chances? About 100%. The pizza had decided that I was to suffer for not choosing it first. So, fuck you pizza place, off to a different deli where I picked up a lackluster sandwich which is now sitting in front of me.
I hate lunch because shit like this happens to me all the time. Because the "gourmet delis" on and around 5th avenue in this area all serve the same crappy food that is in no way "gourmet." I die a little every day trying to decide what horrible crap I'm going to shove down my throat because there is literally nothing good to eat.
In fact, the reason that I eat at 3 o'clock is that I'm so depressed at the prospect of having to wade through the shit that some people call lunch options, that I lose all motivation to go get food until it's late enough when the choices are more limited.
I don't know if this monotony is just to be expected from having worked in the same area for over 3 years, but it seems that many people are quite capable of working in one location and finding something to eat for lunch on a daily basis, so I think it must be specific to this area. And that sucks for me. Because I work here. And I'm hungry.
July 10th, 2007
I had to skip last week because I was on vacation, but I'm back with another Subway Etiquette Lesson. This week, it's time to talk about the rules (and there aren't many) between people who are seated.
These rules are similar to the rules for people who are standing, except that, obviously, you're seated.
You are sitting on the subway, following last week's rules about taking up only one seat and a person sits down next to you. For this example, you are not seated at the end of a row of seats, but rather in the middle. And we'll say you're on a bench seat, rather than the individual seats, so that it's not as clear what's your space and what isn't. So you're sitting, maybe with someone already next to you on one side, and this person sits down on your other side, and they're a bit on top of you. They are trying to subtly push you over so that they have more room. And, if there is not very much room, they are in the right. But, let's assume that there is plenty of room, and they're just an asshole.
So you've got someone sitting on top of you. What can you do? The first step in removing someone from on top of you is to move further towards them. Like when standing up and someone's leaning in to you, you lean back in to them, the same holds true for sitting. You have to lean in to them to try to express to them that they need to get the fuck off of you. [Tip #1: If someone sits down next to you and is encroaching on the little space you have, you are allowed to encroach on their space in hopes of forcing them to move over]
There is a lot more of a grey area with these rules, though. Some people seem to think that they are entitled to as much space as they can take while seated. And that is incorrect. Everyone has seen a person sitting on the subway with their legs as wide apart as possible, trying to prevent other from sitting next to them. Unfortunately, sometimes these people do not push their legs together when someone does take the space next to them.
Yesterday I got on the 6 train to go home. It was about 90º out, which means that it was probably about 150º on the subway platform. I was also carrying an extremely heavy bag with me, and so I beelined for a seat next to this two fuck faces wearing suits. A woman sat down on my other side as I sat down. These two suited douches both had their legs apart and refused to budge. I sat down, put my bag between my feet, and found, shockingly, that my foot had ended up mostly on top of the foot of the guy next to me. He pushed his foot slightly towards me, in hopes of removing my foot from him. And, that is a fair thing to do if someone's foot is on top of yours. However, in this case, the woman sitting next to me was flush against the middle pole, and I was pressed against her. there was nowhere for me to move. Additionally, the heavy bag between my feet kept my foot from moving anywhere. He pushed against me, was unable to move, and eventually very slightly adjusted himself so that I wasn't totally on top of him. These fuckers got off the train, and two women took their places, and all four of us now had plenty of room, because the women sat with their knees together. [Tip #2: Don't take up more space than you need to be comfortable. You will make yourself and those next to you uncomfortable if you try to take more space than you need, but if you take just enough, you should have a little extra space on either side of you to make you even more comfortable]
As I've said before, the seated rules are similar to the standing rules. And the name of the game is don't inconvenience other people. Take only as much space as you need, and not more than that. You're riding the fucking subway, not sitting in a limo, so there is no reason for you to stretch out or feel entitled to extra space. Everyone pays the same fare to take the same subway cars (yes, yes, senior citizens pay half-price, and a pay-per-ride ride costs different from an unlimited-ride ride depending on how many times an unlimited card has been used and if the pay-per-ride rider got their free 6th ride per $10 or not), but the fact remains, there is no designated seating, there is no luxury section, there is no first class. No person on the subway has any right to be more comfortable than any other person on the subway. If you think that you deserve more space than anyone else, that's fucked.
I'm not going to recap these rules because there are only two of them, but seriously, it's hot out, it's hotter on the platforms, don't be a fucking douchebag on the subway cars right now. Be happy that you're in a fairly well air-conditioned enclosed space that takes you where you're going and leave it at that.
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